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Odds and Sods
Sep. 28th, 2012 10:44 pmI've become slightly involved with a Facebook group called Style Invitational Devotees. It's run alongside the weekly Washington Post Style Invitational competition, and consists of lots of people who are witty, plus me. A primary school friend who now lives in Austin is a member, and I joined because he was there.
The subject of coffee limericks came up tonight, and I thought for a moment and penned a double-dactyl on the subject of coffee:
Meanery-beanery
Juan Valdez, coffeeman
touted the amber brew.
What a fine chap!
Coffee is heavenly
Chock-full-of-nuttery,
Hi, Mr. Coffee-Nerves!
Sanka is crap.
I thought that was enough for the night, but I managed two limericks. One was in response to a Limerick-Off with a set first-line. I changed it for a homophone. "A fellow who tended to whine" was the set first-line.
A fellow who tended to wine
Was called an “oenologist”: fine!
But when he drank quarts
Of his sherries and ports
Oh the shame! He was forced to resign.
And then, as it was late, I finally wrote this:
On a Friday at 10:22
Double-dactyl is written and phew!
Now a limerick you want?
You will whine. I will taunt!
And one limerick's written. Time flew.
And, of course, I forgot the Tom Swifty:
"Governor Romney is cruel to animals!" cried Tom, doggedly.
I thnk that's quite enough wit for today.
As some of you may know, I am the sole member of the Holy Trinity with St. Matthew's, Southwark Altar Guild. For the last 13 or 14 years I have been Sacristan, and among my duties is laundering and ironing the altar linens. It's been a chore of the first order. I hate using an iron, especially as my hands are getting arthritic. And pressing the linens to my standards is quite time-consuming. I therefore in the past have been leaving washed but unpressed linens in bags at home promising myself I will get to them, and not quite making it.
Today Ethel, one of the witnesses at HWMBO's and my civil partnership and one of the best people I have ever met, gave me a pressing machine. It has a handle attached to a metal plate that is hinged. The metal plate is an iron. You may have seen pictures of such machines in laundries. So in an hour and a half I pressed all the linens that had been hanging around the house. I feel so freaking accomplished!
Small things excite me these days.
The subject of coffee limericks came up tonight, and I thought for a moment and penned a double-dactyl on the subject of coffee:
Meanery-beanery
Juan Valdez, coffeeman
touted the amber brew.
What a fine chap!
Coffee is heavenly
Chock-full-of-nuttery,
Hi, Mr. Coffee-Nerves!
Sanka is crap.
I thought that was enough for the night, but I managed two limericks. One was in response to a Limerick-Off with a set first-line. I changed it for a homophone. "A fellow who tended to whine" was the set first-line.
A fellow who tended to wine
Was called an “oenologist”: fine!
But when he drank quarts
Of his sherries and ports
Oh the shame! He was forced to resign.
And then, as it was late, I finally wrote this:
On a Friday at 10:22
Double-dactyl is written and phew!
Now a limerick you want?
You will whine. I will taunt!
And one limerick's written. Time flew.
And, of course, I forgot the Tom Swifty:
"Governor Romney is cruel to animals!" cried Tom, doggedly.
I thnk that's quite enough wit for today.
As some of you may know, I am the sole member of the Holy Trinity with St. Matthew's, Southwark Altar Guild. For the last 13 or 14 years I have been Sacristan, and among my duties is laundering and ironing the altar linens. It's been a chore of the first order. I hate using an iron, especially as my hands are getting arthritic. And pressing the linens to my standards is quite time-consuming. I therefore in the past have been leaving washed but unpressed linens in bags at home promising myself I will get to them, and not quite making it.
Today Ethel, one of the witnesses at HWMBO's and my civil partnership and one of the best people I have ever met, gave me a pressing machine. It has a handle attached to a metal plate that is hinged. The metal plate is an iron. You may have seen pictures of such machines in laundries. So in an hour and a half I pressed all the linens that had been hanging around the house. I feel so freaking accomplished!
Small things excite me these days.
