chrishansenhome

I've become slightly involved with a Facebook group called Style Invitational Devotees. It's run alongside the weekly Washington Post Style Invitational competition, and consists of lots of people who are witty, plus me. A primary school friend who now lives in Austin is a member, and I joined because he was there.

The subject of coffee limericks came up tonight, and I thought for a moment and penned a double-dactyl on the subject of coffee:

Meanery-beanery
Juan Valdez, coffeeman
touted the amber brew.
What a fine chap!

Coffee is heavenly
Chock-full-of-nuttery,
Hi, Mr. Coffee-Nerves!
Sanka is crap.

I thought that was enough for the night, but I managed two limericks. One was in response to a Limerick-Off with a set first-line. I changed it for a homophone. "A fellow who tended to whine" was the set first-line.

A fellow who tended to wine
Was called an “oenologist”: fine!
But when he drank quarts
Of his sherries and ports
Oh the shame! He was forced to resign.

And then, as it was late, I finally wrote this:

On a Friday at 10:22
Double-dactyl is written and phew!
Now a limerick you want?
You will whine. I will taunt!
And one limerick's written. Time flew.

And, of course, I forgot the Tom Swifty:

"Governor Romney is cruel to animals!" cried Tom, doggedly.

I thnk that's quite enough wit for today.

As some of you may know, I am the sole member of the Holy Trinity with St. Matthew's, Southwark Altar Guild. For the last 13 or 14 years I have been Sacristan, and among my duties is laundering and ironing the altar linens. It's been a chore of the first order. I hate using an iron, especially as my hands are getting arthritic. And pressing the linens to my standards is quite time-consuming. I therefore in the past have been leaving washed but unpressed linens in bags at home promising myself I will get to them, and not quite making it.

Today Ethel, one of the witnesses at HWMBO's and my civil partnership and one of the best people I have ever met, gave me a pressing machine. It has a handle attached to a metal plate that is hinged. The metal plate is an iron. You may have seen pictures of such machines in laundries. So in an hour and a half I pressed all the linens that had been hanging around the house. I feel so freaking accomplished!

Small things excite me these days.

Current Mood: accomplished!
Current Location: London, in my study

Woke up about 5:30 to make a rest stop, and no sooner had I gotten back to bed than the burglar alarm at St. Matthew's went off. As with everything at 5:30 am, it took a few moments for me to realise that it was the burglar alarm. I got up, took my keys, and went over to investigate.

After looking through the building and finding no intruders, I looked at the alarm panel and discovered that there was a "Fault", nature unspecified. I thought that it might be the fuse, so came back home and got a new one. Replacing the fuse did nothing, though. I then got the bright idea that the circuit breaker might have popped, and went around to the boiler room, where the circuit breakers live. Sure enough, the circuit breaker had popped, and resetting it stopped the alarm, doubtless to the eternal gratitude of the neighbours.

Of course, sleep was now impossible, even though I tried.

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Location: London, in my study

It's been pretty quiet around here, so no personal blogs. Last Sunday was back at St. Matthew's after a four-week absence. Nothing changed, really. Not that I expected it to.

I am trying to revamp my website, but don't have the technical know-how so to do.

spwebdesign has promised to help out. Perhaps over the Easter holiday.

I am still between assignments at work. This is seriously beginning to annoy me--I don't know what to do, but will step up contacts with recruiters and my network after the Easter holiday.

St. Matthew's is having a Passover Seder tonight before the Maundy Thursday service. I refuse to participate in Christian Seders, as I don't wish to participate in simulations of the liturgies of other religions. The Rector says that as Judaism is the precursor of Christianity, he's entitled to put on a Seder. I think that's triumphalistic. He is very annoyed about the whole thing. I shall be preparing the church for Maundy Thursday, going away, then returning to strip the altar after services.

Tomorrow I preach at St. John's: a two-pager this time. Very short and sweet. I hope it's effective and memorable.

I have bought an internet wi-fi radio; will probably be delivered next week. I don't think I can get it on my Reliablehosting VPN so that I can listen to KKSF or WNUA over it, but we will see. Anything is possible these days. I got £33 pounds off by using coupons and Amazon.co.uk.

I have heard of the LJ boycott. While I am in broad sympathy with the aims, I have a permanent account and thus don't see ads, provide ads, or anything of the sort. I read other blogs in my Friends page, so I don't see any ads there either. I hope that nothing interesting happens tomorrow so that I don't have to blog or comment, but I'm afraid it will and I will.

Speaking of ads, there has been a bit of a controversy over here about Phorm, a company that purports to serve targeted ads to you (assuming you're viewing one of the websites that subscribe to their ad feed) through analysing the content of the sites you visit. All the details are here, and it's a real doozy. BT and Virgin are planning to assume that we "opt-in", while Carphone Warehouse will require explicit opt-in from users. Privacy issues abound here; although the Home Office has given it the OK from a privacy perspective, the Information Commissioner needs to rule on this and I suspect that serious issues will arise. I plan to opt out, and additionally ensure that Phorm's ad server is in my hosts file so that I'll never see any of their ads.

The yoga instructor at Paris Gym has been sacked for not showing up. He told us that he was going on a yoga trip to South Africa, but the owners of the gym have said that he didn't inform them of it. They also say that he's often very late (not unusually so) and that he hasn't helped them by promoting the yoga class in the gym. They're looking for someone else, but I'm going to try to get in touch and see if I can go to another yoga class that he teaches. I'm a bit bummed out by this; I like Kym and he is a very good teacher and leader.

Current Mood: bored

Friday was uneventful. HWMBO had to go to a stag party for one of his co-workers, and he wasn't due home until after 11 pm. No news of Friday then, except that he did return and hadn't overindulged. His other co-workers stayed out until 5 am Saturday, in true British style.

Saturday was the first day of the Thames Festival weekend, and we decided to go to lunch at Southwark Bridge. The bridge itself was turned into a kind of funfair, with stalls selling various types of food, some entertainment on the upriver side, and tables to eat. Part of it was covered with sand and part was covered with artificial turf. HWMBO had a seafood noodle dish that he said was just average, and I had a beefburger with cheese (£4) that was, again, just average. But, it was the atmosphere!

We walked along the riverbank until we got to Queen Elizabeth Hall, where we had hot chocolate and dessert to finish.

At 4 we went to our friend Pat's 80th birthday party. We had been by the Southbank Shop next to the Royal Festival Hall, and of course what do you get an 80 year old lady? We bought a tea towel in a cylindrical box that was printed to look like an old Penguin novel cover, and a refrigerator magnet. As it was the Thames Festival, we also got a goody bag for spending more than £10 in the shop. There was a print of an Ansel Adams photo and various other goodies.

The party was nice; we had very little to eat, as we'd already eaten our fill, and had lots of Diet Coke and lemonade. We stayed for 4 hours, and got home exhausted, although we'd only sat down most of the time.

Sunday at church we had a Nigerian archdeacon celebrate and preach. He preached for almost 25 minutes, and besides having a very thick accent that was difficult for many to understand, his preaching style was not culturally-sensitive to most: it was a Bible-study delivered as a rant. Luckily he didn't get onto the homosexual topic, but stayed with the "lost sheep". Many were grumbling afterwards, but I fear we'll have more of him as he's around for a year, I believe, doing some post-graduate work. All the more incentive to go to St. John's or St. Anne's.

A cat dropped by the backyard at around 9 pm; HWMBO wanted to feed it, as he thought it was hungry. We put down milk and tuna, but it wasn't hungry--we think it just wanted company. I petted it for a while and then went to bed.

Current Mood: working
Current Location: at work

I don't drink much, but I broke out the last of the Gentleman Jack bourbon and had a bourbon and Diet Coke to celebrate the relief I feel that the four failed bombers from last week have all been arrested. One got as far as Rome; the other two were caught in West London: one in Notting Hill just yards from Portobello Market and the other in North Kensington.

This is of course not the end; it's only the beginning of the end, or even the end of the beginning. However, I hope that these people are treated fairly, tried, and if convicted, sentenced to life without the possibility of parole. I hope that information gathered from them will lead to those who masterminded the bombings and to other like-minded young men who can then be prevented from further terrorist activity.

The entire affair is desperately sad. But I'm happy tonight.

In other news: HWMBO has finished his SAS course today and came home with, would youi believe it, an MP3 player branded "SAS". He's given it to me and I'm going to be loaded stuff on it for the parish seaside trip tomorrow. Will be bringing a book and the newspaper, and will just chill. May bring the camera too, but if we go to Hastings, there's not much to see.

Current Mood: extremely relieved

If you're interested in clerical beefcake, especially of the Anglo-Catholic type, go here:

http://www.calendarioromano.co.uk/

I found it the perfect gift for Anglo-Catholic clergy--safe for every sacristy.

On another note: can anyone tell me why the packet of avocados I bought from Tesco's yesterday had this warning on the label: "Wash before eating" ? I'm not aware of any culinary use of an avocado peel that finishes up with the peel in my alimentary canal.

We had a good patronal festival this morning, ending up with a good feed and some unexpected arrivals, such as Michael from Sierra Leone, who left Britain 6 or 7 years ago before the Immigration and Nationality Directorate expelled him--he's returned on business and is a sight for sore eyes. We also saw Sam, who is a World War II veteran, with two hips replaced and a bum knee, but as English as a bulldog or fish and chips. I love him to bits. HWMBO came in around the Gloria and I always enjoy it when he comes to church because I know that it's a real sacrifice for him, an unbeliever. Everyone in church loves him too, and many of them wrote letters of support for us when he was seeking temporary leave to remain.

I'll be at St. Matthew's for 11 years in January. The little boys and girls who served Mass then are now in college and university, and have grown into young men and women. Although I've not had any of my own, I take vicarious pride in some such as Mandy, whose Zimbabwean mother and father work their fingers to the bone to send her and her brother and sister to school and university. Mandy is going to SOAS majoring in Geography and Economics, and will be taking a Zulu course this semester. She is beautiful and very bright. My thoughts and prayers go with her as she starts her second year tomorrow.

We've also had a few go bad, unfortunately. I think of them too and hope that they'll get on the right track, finish their education, and get jobs rather than the usual spiral of economic deprivation and crime that has been an Elephant and Castle tradition for several centuries (and not just since {insert your least favourite immigrant group here} moved in). We have a very diverse neighbourhood that includes people from Africa, people from the Caribbean, probably the largest South American group in the UK, Turkish Cypriots (most of whom have moved to Stoke Newington but some still here), and the newest group, Poles and other Central European peoples. The local pub even has a Polish night every Sunday night now, and there is a Polish restaurant and deli on the New Kent Road. Oh, and did I mention the large Bangladeshi community on the housing estate behind us?

The preacher this morning was Bishop Michael Doe, the General Secretary of USPG (United Society for the Propagation of the Gospel). He's the former Bishop of Swindon in Bath and Wells Diocese, and has just been translated. He was OK, nothing special. Most bishops are average preachers because they only need one sermon. They vary it a bit but don't need more than one since they flit from event to event, parish to parish, and by the time they get to a parish they've already visited no one remembers what they said the first time around. I was hoping for rochet and chimere (as he was only preaching) but he wore an alb and stole. No one noticed that I used lavabo towels for purificators.

I have a business meeting in Haywards Heath tomorrow noon; it's at my old chum Steve's new office, where he busily dispenses good advice, good courses, and training on all sorts of testing and quality issues. http://www.electromind.com if you're interested in such items. I'm a little nervous about going out on my own doing ISO9001 consulting and auditing, but after the soft landing that my current job is giving me I need to be bloody, bold, and resolute. I won't be fully unemployed until the end of January, and will get a full month's notice (rather than 3/5ths of my fulltime salary) and the full statutory redundancy money (about £1100, tax free) at the end of January. I just hope I can do good work with Steve and others, and set out as a consultant who, rather than borrowing your watch to tell you the time and then charging you for it, can help to make businesses work better and produce better products and services.

It's almost time to put my pills together for the week. This is the end of my week, psychologically. I get all the bottles and boxes out, unscrew all the pill boxes (very inexpensive from Muji, stacked in tiers of seven), and ensure that all the pills are in the right order before putting the boxes back together and ensuring that the one I take to work is in my bag. I take so many pills (for diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol, and vitamins) that I rattle. I suppose I should be thankful that they keep me alive, but it does depress me sometimes.

We've been watching cooking programs all this evening. I got very hungry. Fortunately, many of the dishes revolved around fish, which is not on the Hansen menu very often. We had fish and chips in the new Harry Ramsden's in Piccadilly Circus on Friday night and it was fairly good, though not as good as the one in Brighton. When you're raised Roman Catholic on the seashore (in the 1950's) you eat fish every Friday because you have to, and every Monday and Wednesday because it was cheap. When I mentioned this during the church lunch today, someone said, "Well, it must have been very healthy." and I had to reply "Well, most of it was deep fried, which probably cancelled out any health benefits." I still like clamcakes, but they're deep fried and it's hard to find minced clams here (an essential ingredient). Other than that, f & c is about all I eat apart from an occasional salmon steak which HWMBO cooks and I eat with lots of ketchup. I'm sorry about that, as my life would be easier if I liked fish.

Good evening, and sleep tight.