Emails we didn't reply to
Jan. 28th, 2012 07:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chrishansenhomeAs a denizen of LinkedIn, I occasionally get messages from people in my network whom I do not really know. These messages are usually announcements of some sort of event or product.
Today I got this one. I am quoting it here verbatim (except for censoring the gory ID details) to protect the guilty.
{The Guilty Man} has sent you a message.
Date: 1/28/2012
Subject: Hey
First off I would like to thank you for even reading this as I know reading spammy looking emails especially on the weekend is not something you want to do. The reason I’m writing this is because I’m looking for help finding funds for a start-up company and giving linkedin a shot well since this site is a network of “professionals”. Honestly this is my last shot; believe it or not I even tried craigslist.org for funding assistance (yeah I’m basically that desperate lol). I’m just so sick of going on sites like gust.com or gobignetwork.com paying money I don’t have to submit my business proposal which I also paid money for waiting for investors to contact me month after month after month with no hope and when I do get a reply it’s “sorry but we decided not to go with your company” or these firms claiming to have millions of dollars to invest but when I send out my chump change $25,000 business plan I get no reply back. I even applied for start-up loans from banks and unsecured business loans. Speaking of start-up loans I thought the whole point of those was to get a loan to start up your business not have a business with business credit to get a loan which I’ve been told over and over again. If that’s the case then it should be called something else not “start-up”
At this point I don’t know what to do, I feel like a sailboat in the middle the ocean with no breeze and a broken rudder. I don’t have some Ivy League education I can fall back on or some rich family and friends I can just borrow money from. I’m just a 26 yr old guy from the Bronx New York who can barely pay his rent with school loans messing up his credit with a business in beta stages that keeps him up at night cause he knows he has something that will be successful but no one wants to give him that chance. I’m not looking for sympathy or anything like that because I know there are a lot of people worse off than I am I’m just looking for help, any kind of advice (let me rephrase that CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE), forwarding this to anyone looking to invest $25k or a little more so I can stop having ramen noodles for dinner lol, or even if you have a spare 25k lying around not doing anything and wouldn’t mind helping me out that would be fine as well. This company I’m working on is not something that I can be like oh well it didn’t work, on to the next. If this does not work for lack of a better expression “I’m basically fucked” there is no plan B or c or any other letters of the alphabet I have lined up. It’s kind of stupid but at the same time it shows how dedicated I am to it as well as how much I believe it will be successful. Yeah if it’s not successful you lose money but I basically lose everything.
I’m not going to attach my business plan to this, (I maybe desperate but not stupid) to give you a general idea it’s a internet based website that people will be using every day on average of 30 minutes to a couple of hours and there is not geographical or language limitations NO ITS NOT ANOTHER SOCIAL NETWORK WEBSITE. Believe me I’m as sick of those popping up as much as everyone else is lol. Please I’m on my e-knees right now, help me turn me turn towards the breeze or be the breeze that gets my boat moving…
Thanks
{The guilty man, with phone number and email address}
P.S. I know there probably are some spelling and grammar errors but I’m not trying to win some grammar award lol
Now I put it to you that some numbskull who sends out an email like this, peppered with "lol"s, spelling errors, coarse language, a subject line of "Hey", and a shortage of proper punctuation, is actually high on some illegal substance.
The only person who is a bigger numbskull than this gentleman is anyone who responds to the email and gives him some money. He says that he "maybe desperate but not stupid". I would actually take issue with that statement; I think he's both.
Today I got this one. I am quoting it here verbatim (except for censoring the gory ID details) to protect the guilty.
{The Guilty Man} has sent you a message.
Date: 1/28/2012
Subject: Hey
First off I would like to thank you for even reading this as I know reading spammy looking emails especially on the weekend is not something you want to do. The reason I’m writing this is because I’m looking for help finding funds for a start-up company and giving linkedin a shot well since this site is a network of “professionals”. Honestly this is my last shot; believe it or not I even tried craigslist.org for funding assistance (yeah I’m basically that desperate lol). I’m just so sick of going on sites like gust.com or gobignetwork.com paying money I don’t have to submit my business proposal which I also paid money for waiting for investors to contact me month after month after month with no hope and when I do get a reply it’s “sorry but we decided not to go with your company” or these firms claiming to have millions of dollars to invest but when I send out my chump change $25,000 business plan I get no reply back. I even applied for start-up loans from banks and unsecured business loans. Speaking of start-up loans I thought the whole point of those was to get a loan to start up your business not have a business with business credit to get a loan which I’ve been told over and over again. If that’s the case then it should be called something else not “start-up”
At this point I don’t know what to do, I feel like a sailboat in the middle the ocean with no breeze and a broken rudder. I don’t have some Ivy League education I can fall back on or some rich family and friends I can just borrow money from. I’m just a 26 yr old guy from the Bronx New York who can barely pay his rent with school loans messing up his credit with a business in beta stages that keeps him up at night cause he knows he has something that will be successful but no one wants to give him that chance. I’m not looking for sympathy or anything like that because I know there are a lot of people worse off than I am I’m just looking for help, any kind of advice (let me rephrase that CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE), forwarding this to anyone looking to invest $25k or a little more so I can stop having ramen noodles for dinner lol, or even if you have a spare 25k lying around not doing anything and wouldn’t mind helping me out that would be fine as well. This company I’m working on is not something that I can be like oh well it didn’t work, on to the next. If this does not work for lack of a better expression “I’m basically fucked” there is no plan B or c or any other letters of the alphabet I have lined up. It’s kind of stupid but at the same time it shows how dedicated I am to it as well as how much I believe it will be successful. Yeah if it’s not successful you lose money but I basically lose everything.
I’m not going to attach my business plan to this, (I maybe desperate but not stupid) to give you a general idea it’s a internet based website that people will be using every day on average of 30 minutes to a couple of hours and there is not geographical or language limitations NO ITS NOT ANOTHER SOCIAL NETWORK WEBSITE. Believe me I’m as sick of those popping up as much as everyone else is lol. Please I’m on my e-knees right now, help me turn me turn towards the breeze or be the breeze that gets my boat moving…
Thanks
{The guilty man, with phone number and email address}
P.S. I know there probably are some spelling and grammar errors but I’m not trying to win some grammar award lol
Now I put it to you that some numbskull who sends out an email like this, peppered with "lol"s, spelling errors, coarse language, a subject line of "Hey", and a shortage of proper punctuation, is actually high on some illegal substance.
The only person who is a bigger numbskull than this gentleman is anyone who responds to the email and gives him some money. He says that he "maybe desperate but not stupid". I would actually take issue with that statement; I think he's both.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-28 10:51 pm (UTC)Thanks for the warning and the laugh.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-29 08:21 am (UTC)I'm looking forward to the day when I formally retire and can just disappear from LinkedIn.