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Topiary is not the subject that comes top-of-mind when you're weeding your garden or clipping the hedge, but for Cantabridgian Ian Ashmeade one of his bushes was growing remarkably like a phallus. So he decided to help it along.

Of course, in England there is always some officious humourless jobsworth whose only pleasure in life is removing everyone else's joy. So the police have ordered Ashmeade to clip his cock or be fined (news story with picture is here).

As Ashmeade is the world pea-shooting champion, he has reshaped his cock into a pea-shooter. Apt.