Today's Police Log

As some of you will remember, occasionally I post excerpts from the Police Log from Marblehead, Massachusetts, my home town. Perhaps it's not as good as Lake Wobegon, but it often forces a chuckle out of me.

This particular log, dated 11 January, will be of interest to hens everywhere.

5:25 a.m. Upon investigating alarm at pro shop at Tedesco Country Club, officers found that building had been broken into, as evidenced by broken glass and door. A witness reported seeing two men in their late 20s leaving the scene. State Police K9 unit was requested, which was sent from Stoneham. Officers checked nearby yards, but nothing was found.
7:30 a.m. Caller on Flint Street reported that her house had been egged twice overnight, once at 2:30 a.m. and again at 3:30 a.m. She said she believed the perpetrators were on foot, as she did not hear a car.
7:47 a.m. Caller on Pleasant Street reported car had been egged sometime after 4:30 p.m. Tuesday. Caller planned to give Marblehead High School assistant principal the names of two boys with whom she had a problem on Tuesday.
7:58 a.m. Caller repeated a previous complaint about cars coming inbound at Lafayette and Humphrey streets cutting inside the lane of traffic and then “screaming” into the Marblehead Bank parking lot to drop off kids. Plate number given of woman who had done so in the morning while on cell phone. Police were unable to find match of plate and description of vehicle given.
8:29 a.m. Tailgating reported on Ocean and Atlantic avenues. Detail officer said he would send driver a citation when his detail ended.
10:02 a.m. Washington Street merchant complained about shop being egged overnight. It was added to the list of places that had been egged.
10:27 a.m. Vehicle driving on flat tire on Atlantic Avenue and Chestnut Street reported by detail officer. Woman was driving to garage to get it fixed. Officer put some air in woman’s tire using portable tank and then sent her on her way.
11:12 a.m. Minor accident involving two pickup trucks reported on Barnard Street. One vehicle had a broken taillight; other had no damage.
11:55 a.m. Constable serving eviction notice on State Street asked officer to stand by to keep the peace. Constable later called back to compliment the officers who responded.
1:22 p.m. Caller on Ocean Avenue reported car had been egged overnight.
1:37 p.m. A 911 call for medical aid in Danvers was relayed to Danvers responders.
2:42 p.m. Fight reported at post office gate behind Marblehead High School. Officers found no fight but a lot of kids in the area. Kids dispersed when officers arrived.
2:54 p.m. Skateboarding reported in post office lot on Smith Street.
6:05 p.m. Walk-in reported house and car on Hines Court had been egged overnight.
6:52 p.m. Lift assistance provided on Green Street Court.
8:22 p.m. Investigated report of credit-card fraud by Intrepid Circle resident, who reported her card had been used to purchase $442 worth of tickets to the Broadway play “Wicked.”
11:32 p.m. Caller reported that a drunken man had tried to open her car door and get in on Humphrey Street and Countryside Lane. He had been last seen running outbound on Humphrey Street.

There was an egg shortage somewhere recently; apparently, the somewhere was not Marblehead.

More police log joy

I sometimes wonder whether the League of Gentlemen was not filmed in Marblehead—the things that go on there are often worthy of a comedy hour. This is from January 6.

2:08 a.m. Walk-in declared intent to repossess vehicle on Pond Street.
2:14 a.m. Walk-in reported intent to tow car from private lot on Pleasant Street.
8:31 a.m. Car alarm sounding reported on Prospect Street. Owner came out to car, and officer disabled the alarm. Owner was awaiting AAA.
9:21 a.m. Caller on Sewall Street complained about work being done 7 feet from her house. Caller reported contractor had been working since 8 a.m. and that there were high sound levels and stone dust wafting towards her home. Caller was advised to direct her complaints to the Health and Building departments. Caller said that her home is heated with hot air and that she believed the work site was polluting her family. Officer inspected the site and found mason conducting “business as usual.”
10:16 a.m. Delivery van escorted to Harding Lane after traffic stop on Beacon and Norman streets.
11:54 a.m. Caller reported sign from post on Mugford and Washington streets was down near the base and needed to be repaired. Sign belonged on anchored post in the middle of Market Square and was deemed to be a safety issue. On-call Department of Public Works person contacted. Sign left at the door of the DPW office.
12:19 p.m. Caller on Naugus Avenue complained about hunters in the middle of the harbor towards the Salem power plant. Dispatcher contacted Salem harbormaster, who said the hunters usually head down to the island near the Lead Mills and scope out that area. Salem harbormaster said he would check out the situation. Police determined that Massachusetts Wildlife website indicated that migratory birds could be hunted until March, from a half-hour before sunrise until sunset. Salem harbormaster reported that the hunters had checked in with the station in the morning, were “regulars” with whom he was familiar, and that they always obey the required 500-foot setback. The 13 cameras monitoring Salem harbor also indicated that all was in order. Dispatcher called back caller to adviser her of the findings.
1:23 p.m. Caller reported lots of broken glass on path that is on the side of the tracks going towards Smith Street off Pleasant Street at Mohawk Road. Park office was e-mailed to clean up the broken glass.
2:16 p.m. Caller on Cornell Road reported ongoing theft problem outside her house, this time involving a 5-gallon Poland Spring water container. Previous thefts have involved a trash barrel, a recycling bin, Christmas ornaments and a potted plant. Caller reported that a neighbor had also had things stolen from in front of her house. Officer took reported and talked to neighbors. Poland Spring said it would replace bottle at no charge. Officer checked area around Tower School to no avail.
3:17 p.m. Walk-in reported he had signed up to be a mystery shopper and had received two checks totaling around $2,000. Man said he would check on Monday at the post office to see if the checks were real and said he was not out any money and had not given out his Social Security number or any credit-card information.
3:27 p.m. Caller reported that there was a girl on her hands and knees vomiting outside a vehicle on Tedesco and Maple streets. Officers checked the area but found no one.
4:31 p.m. Caller reported a “green man” designed to calm traffic had been found broken on neighbor’s property. Green man had previously been taken from driveway and found a couple of streets over as well.
4:35 p.m. Caller reported her 10-year-old daughter had received an inappropriate text message from an unknown number. Officers determined initial text may have been sent to the wrong recipient and said to contact them if any other texts were received.
4:57 p.m. Vehicle which prevented fire engine from getting down Rowland Street was towed.
5:21 p.m. Two men reported going through the trash bin behind Marblehead Bank on Humphrey Street. Men worked for cleaning service and were thrown stuff in the trash.
5:52 p.m. Caller reported vehicle with flat tires on Homestead Road and Maple Street. Tow was en route but caller thought driver looked a little distressed. Tow arrived while officer was on scene.
5:55 p.m. Caller on Auburndale Road reported coming home to find large potted plant had been smashed on the sidewalk. The same thing had been done at her neighbor’s house within the past 25 minutes.

And this from January 5th:

8:07 a.m. Caller requested well-being check for neighbor on Pleasant Street. Neighbor was fine.
9:26 a.m. Woman in western Massachusetts called to report that her father had mailed out letters with personal information on them to relatives, including her grandmother in Marblehead. Grandmother came into station later n the day to speak to officer.
1:04 p.m. Caller reported people possibly doing drugs in vehicle on Anderson Street and Roundhouse Road. Caller said people in vehicle appeared to be cutting up marijuana and putting it into plastic baggies Officer searched area but found no evidence of such activity.
2:22 p.m. Walk-in reported past hit-and-run on Lafayette Street.
3:10 p.m. Walk-in reported her credit card had been compromised. She said she would return with paperwork.
4:26 p.m. Caller reported almost being struck while in crosswalk on Pleasant Street and Mohawk Road. Officer checked area; vehicle was not in owner’s driveway.
5:18 p.m. Swampscott Police received a report of a two-car crash in the area of Tedesco Street. Officers determined the accident had occurred in Salem and notified Salem Police.
5:36 p.m. Man reported he had just pulled into parking spot, and his soon-to-be-ex-wife pulled in and blocked him in. Fearing a problem, he locked himself in the vehicle and called police. The woman was asked to leave.
6:28 p.m. Salem Police referred a call from the State Police for a well-being check when it was determined subject was actually on Lafayette Street in Marblehead. Woman was transported to hospital.

Ah, Marblehead! An idyllic place, where people get $2,000 cheques for mystery shopping! I think that Zippy the Pinhead ought to make a visit.