Today's Thing that makes you say "Huh?"

This is taken from Rev'd Leslie's blog, which is always thought-provoking.

Letter to her husband

My darling husband, Before you return from your business trip, I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway.

Fortunately it's not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.

The garage door is slightly bent but fortunately the pick up came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.

I am enclosing a picture of the damage for you.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.
XXX

P.S. Your girlfriend called.

To my Singaporean friends…

Congratulations on the impending opening of the rest of the Circle Line MRT stations! I am looking forward on my next trip to Singapore to meeting all of you first, then travelling on the new Circle Line!

My new porn name

Nearly every gay man at some time or other has been christened with a so-called "porn name". This is the name one would take if, by some miracle, one's body was in shape enough to act in porn.

I never took one, as I never had any illusions about porn and my place in it (as an occasional consumer, not as a producer of same), but I have come across the best porn name ever, and I'm taking it.

From now on, my porn name is Salty Cumming. The below advertisement was cribbed from the vintage_ads group. I hope they don't mind…much.

Today's Language joke

…is ruthlessly pinched from Erika, a commenter on Bishop Nick Baines' blog.

“A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Brits are waiting.
“Entschuldigung, können Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks.
The two Brits just stare at him.
“Excusez-moi, parlez vous Français?” he tries.
The two continue to stare.
“Parlare Italiano?”
No response.
“Hablan ustedes Español?”
Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first Brit turns to the second and says,
“Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.”
“Why?” says the other. “That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.”