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Mar. 14th, 2009
Today's humour
Mar. 14th, 2009 09:24 amA man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "what's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order "That will be $9.40, please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.
"Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago, I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."
The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "what's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order "That will be $9.40, please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.
"Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago, I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."
Now that I am between jobs and have time to kill, it occurs to me that one way in which to improve myself would be to learn a lot more about web design and engineering. My own website is a disgrace, and other people and organisations have asked me to help them with design and engineering of their websites, and I do not really have the expertise to do more than the bare minimum.
Thus, I wonder if anyone reading this knows of a good online course in web design and in aspects of web engineering such as PHP or XML and the like.
If so, comments or PVT_EMAIL would be welcome.
The last time I was not working 9 to 5 each day I basically pissed away most of the time surfing and reading email (this was before Twitter). I am determined not to do so this time.
Thus, I wonder if anyone reading this knows of a good online course in web design and in aspects of web engineering such as PHP or XML and the like.
If so, comments or PVT_EMAIL would be welcome.
The last time I was not working 9 to 5 each day I basically pissed away most of the time surfing and reading email (this was before Twitter). I am determined not to do so this time.
Today's Religious Aphorism
Mar. 14th, 2009 09:32 pmYou know what the Anglican priest said to the Baptist preacher at the ecumenical luncheon: "After all, we are both doing the Lord's work—you in your way, and I in His".
Today's Chaste URL
Mar. 14th, 2009 10:15 pmI don't know about you, but this story sounds like the SWB is up to her old tricks again—transferring clergy who stray.