It's been a cold time in the Old Town this week

Seems like door slamming has become the Town pastime. Read on.

Saturday, Jan. 4

• 10:09 a.m., a caller from Humphrey Street said her neighbor has been purposely slamming her door and running up and down the hall and screaming. The caller said her neighbor slammed the door 10 times at 9:30 p.m., then, at 11:30 p.m., did it five more times. From 11:30 p.m. to midnight she was running in the hall screaming, the neighbor reported. Presumably she was rehearsing for "Noises Off".


• 11:01 a.m., a caller reported that a white lobster boat was sinking in the harbor. The Harbor Avenue caller reported that the boat sank. A message was sent to the harbormaster.


• 12:24 p.m., a 22-year-old fell on West Shore Drive and got his finger stuck in a snowblower. The patient refused treatment. Ladyfingers for tea!


• 5:26 p.m., a Washington Street caller reported a snowbank was obstructing the view. DPW said they would take care of the piled snow. Great service! Move those snowbanks so that the townies can see the harbour.


• 10:24 p.m., a Humphrey Street resident complained that her neighbor was consistently banging doors. Opening and shutting them. For now she only wanted a log entry. The caller was informed that if she wants a police response she should call back. OK, now, perhaps it's not "Noises Off" but "The Tempest".


• 11:54 p.m., a caller reported a man got out of a white Mazda in front of the Masonic building and knelt, as if praying. It appeard odd. Odd? A century ago it was the Odd Fellows Building, but odd today? No shit, Sherlock.

Sunday, Jan. 5

• 00:02 a.m., a Gerry Street man complained about receiving repeated group texts. Not sexting, one gathers.


• 00:12 a.m., a Pleasant Street caller reported that a person in the building threatened her and was "slamming stuff." Police responded to the scene and the officer noted that he had spoken to most occupants of the building. They were drunk and he told them to go to bed. Did everything but tuck them in. I suppose it was the rest of the "Noises Off" cast.


• 00:15 a.m., a father and daughter domestic incident was reported on Elm Street.


• 8:31 a.m., a past hit and run was reported on Lincoln Avenue. The vehicle was struck while parked overnight.


• 10:15 a.m., a walk-in to the station from Franklin Street reported that everything had been stolen from her. Part of the "Noises Off" rehearsal, I suppose.


• 11:42 a.m., a Humphrey Street caller reported that a neighbor walked on to his property and waved her arms at him and spoke to him in an aggressive manner. "Noises Off" director, I guess.


• 2:09 p.m., a downspout was reported missing on a Miles Standish Road home. It was an aluminum downspout painted red to match the home's bricks. Too Much Information?