My tweets

• 00:26 night night, tweeters mine. morn-morn, really. off to the land of nod. #
• 00:26 @kalandaka i might buy a book...my beloved loves squirrels and we feed loads of them at our back door and in Regents Park here in London. #
• 09:30 @soveren so why control your cruising? Go all out! Just be discreet. #
• 09:32 @nard and why can't you? prices are low now, the dollar/pound rates mean that it's cheap. stay with us (we're not ax murderers). consider it #
• 09:55 @MrPandaBehr would love to see the video but when i log in to vimeo is says it's private and won't let me use your PW to see it... #
• 13:50 have booked my reunion attendance and one night's room in Carman Hall. Now to get the flights set up. Will be complicated. #
• 16:30 @nard well, you're welcome anytime. just tell us when. we have lots of room. #
• 17:03 have booked my trip to the US. Itinerary: is.gd/qjMy If anyone's there at those times, I would love to say hi. #
• 17:07 @jallen285 left-handed! obviously an excellent person, well worth knowing. HWMBO and I are both lefthanded. #
• 18:29 @jallen285 is the jewel/world gym near Berwyn L station? I lived around the corner from it and shopped at that jewel (if it's the same one) #
• 18:35 @chrys oh well, what can one do? 4 levels of bullet points? the author needs to be buried under a pile of bulletpoints. #
• 18:36 @MrPandaBehr oh well, if you're not there we won't meet; someday in the future perhaps. april just didn't work as HWMBO can't go away then. #
• 18:40 @chrys the refrain of the over-complex powerpoint viewer: "Will these be available later? Please?" oh dear. no more than 5 lines per slide. #
• 20:22 @jallen285 treasure island is still kicking? Jeez, small world. #
• 20:40 @sbrettell great! any chance of a Lodge meeting that week? I'm bringing my apron and suit. #
• 20:40 have just finished dinner, the dishes, and my Latin homework (not in that order). Augustine is very obtuse when discussing astrology. #
• 20:41 have also broken the door of the microwave, with our bread inside. must buy a new microwave and pry the old one open in that order! #
• 21:29 @jallen285 looks like a phone with an internet connection (thus kb). we have them in the UK in phone booths. #

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Today's joke courtesy of MadPriest

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl. The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you, the old Muslim woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Detroit!"