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Computer viruses
Aug. 29th, 2005 08:31 amApologies if some here have seen this; I've seen most of this type of email, but this one is new to me, so here goes! Humour for Bank Holiday Monday.
COLIN POWELL VIRUS - Makes its presence known, but doesn't do anything. Secretly, you wish it would.
GEORGE BUSH (Sr.) VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating, 'Read my docs....No new files!' on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus.
Ronald Reagan Virus v 2.0 - Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.
SUPREME COURT VIRUS - It allows your system to abort files, with major restrictions
STAR TREK VIRUS - Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
Survivor Viruses - Deletes your files one by one over 13 weeks until only the most annoying one remains.
U.N. virus - Annoying but harmless. Every day, it displays a message saying you must let it inspect your computer's files for viruses, but then it gives you the options "OK, Cancel, Ignore." Even if you click OK, it doesn't do anything.
Viagra Virus - Expands your hard drive while putting too much pressure on your zip drive. Turns your 3.5" floppy into a hard drive.
ALZHEIMER'S VIRUS - It makes your computer forget where it put your files.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS v 1.0 - It runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
George W. Bush virus - Tells you it's going to eliminate all other viruses from your computer but that it may take a long time. Then it actually does scan your computer and eliminate viruses. It also scans for Programs of Mass Destruction (PMD), which are programs that destroy a lot of files if they are run. PMDs may be caused by a number of other viruses, such as the Saddam Hussein virus. The only problems with the George Bush virus are that it uses up a lot of your computer's resources while it's scanning, it never seems to find any PMDs, and it keeps switching the background color on your computer screen back and forth between yellow and orange.
COLIN POWELL VIRUS - Makes its presence known, but doesn't do anything. Secretly, you wish it would.
GEORGE BUSH (Sr.) VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating, 'Read my docs....No new files!' on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus.
Ronald Reagan Virus v 2.0 - Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.
SUPREME COURT VIRUS - It allows your system to abort files, with major restrictions
STAR TREK VIRUS - Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
Survivor Viruses - Deletes your files one by one over 13 weeks until only the most annoying one remains.
U.N. virus - Annoying but harmless. Every day, it displays a message saying you must let it inspect your computer's files for viruses, but then it gives you the options "OK, Cancel, Ignore." Even if you click OK, it doesn't do anything.
Viagra Virus - Expands your hard drive while putting too much pressure on your zip drive. Turns your 3.5" floppy into a hard drive.
ALZHEIMER'S VIRUS - It makes your computer forget where it put your files.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS v 1.0 - It runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
George W. Bush virus - Tells you it's going to eliminate all other viruses from your computer but that it may take a long time. Then it actually does scan your computer and eliminate viruses. It also scans for Programs of Mass Destruction (PMD), which are programs that destroy a lot of files if they are run. PMDs may be caused by a number of other viruses, such as the Saddam Hussein virus. The only problems with the George Bush virus are that it uses up a lot of your computer's resources while it's scanning, it never seems to find any PMDs, and it keeps switching the background color on your computer screen back and forth between yellow and orange.
